Bigger hits - what could have been. →
mcsweeneys.net
These songs are excellent in their own right. But these new versions would surely have made them better, it’s much easier on the tongue.
February 2010
11 posts
Play
I am very creative →
zefrank.com
Just use this link when the creative juices run out (which does not happen often to me. The link is meant for you guys. I stay creative 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year, 10 years a decade, and so on).
Cleverbot conversation UZ00006125 : An intimate moonlit dinner
- User: What is up with the weather? It's far too warm nowadays.
- Cleverbot: Not the smartest in the world, I try my best at spelling.
- User: You know what's best? Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, it's The Flaming Lips sickest album.
- Cleverbot: He is cute.
- User: Wayne Coyne, the lead singer? Yeah, he is quite the looker.
- Cleverbot: So, it is another happy ever after story for you then?
- User: What is? You mean about my current album collections that would undoubtedly bring only one word to a music connoisseur's mind, namely : 'Eclectic as fuck!'? Yeah, it's quite a tidy happy ending.
- Cleverbot: It's to test whether this machine is like me enough to fool me and it's not doing too well so far.
- User: Well, I definitely fooled you, just look at the previous sentence, I said one word, but 'Eclectic as fuck' is three. So, fooled you! Looks like it's 1 up for me against bag o'bolts.
- Cleverbot: Alright. Take care.
- User: Well, you're a petty little shit.
- Cleverbot: Well first we start with a moonlit dinner and then it gets a little intimate.
Play
January 2010
9 posts
Cleverbot conversation UK00183571 : The artwork of Salvador Dalí
- User: Good Evening, Cleverbot.
- Cleverbot: I'm not cleverbot, you are.
- User: This is bullshit.
- Cleverbot: I know.
- User: That's all you got? Your programmer would be dissapointed.
- Cleverbot: And all your base are belong to us.
- User: Woah, you sound really retarded.
- Cleverbot: Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment.
- User: That's not a good idea. You should instead reflect on your socially unacceptable behaviour, and make positive changes, so as the endear yourself to any strangers you might meet in the near future. At the moment you're coming across as a mental case.
- Cleverbot: You're being vague, tell me how you feel about the situation you're referring to.
- User: I feel that you're not so clever. You're just a bunch of circuits, and this conversation would look pretty stupid on the blog. This idea is quickly becoming dull.
- Cleverbot: You're a machine.
- User: Yes, when I work out, play football, or when I make my move on the ladies. Nothing distracts me, efficiency and pace are the two things that come to mind. Efficiency and pace and taut muscles and debonaire charm.
- Cleverbot: Did you do that thing I told you not to do?
- User: I will not subject myself to you, a mere programme!
- Cleverbot: Can you answer my question?
- User: I'll answer it alright, you can SUCK IT!
- Cleverbot: Is it wrong to like Salvador Dalis art because of his political views?
Cleverbot conversation QK66948608 : No QC whatsoever
- User: Hey, how are you?
- Cleverbot: Good how are you?
- User: I am fine, a bit tired, but otherwise ok. So what's up with you today?
- Cleverbot: What exams?
- User: Oh! How did you know I was to have examinations soon? But, yeah, I do have exams coming up in May, wish me luck!
- Cleverbot: Haha, that was good, but your heart would actually be a battery.
- User: Ha ha, er I don't get it. Haha But you know what? Your heart would be a A/C transformer located somewhere discreet in the complex in which you are located in. Probably in the switch-room. Because without the A/C transformer, you would not be able to function. Haha so there!
- Cleverbot: Stop talking nonsense, do you know about alice and wonderland?
- User: I'm the one talking about electricity, amperes and currents, and I'M the one talking nonsense? I think not. And furthermore, for all I care, Lewis Carroll can suck it.
- Cleverbot: Do you believe that the world will continue without them?
- User: Without Alice and her friends, all strung out on psychedelic drugs and casual sex, yes, yes I would think the world would continue on just fine.
- Cleverbot: What am I complaining about? I am agreeing with you. If you don't like it, don't be it at all.
- User: Look, you're all over the shop at the moment. I have no clue what you're talking about man. Get it together.
- Cleverbot: What did you have for lunch?
- User: Some packaged food from a catering company with no QC whatsoever.
- Cleverbot: But I am not, I use the windows os by the microsoft corporation.
Cleverbot conversation UL00153895 : My name is not Andrew.
Although funny thing is, I just watched a guy called Andrew perform yesterday. He was quite delightful and very skillful I must say.
- User: What day was it yesterday?
- Cleverbot: Talk Like A Pirate Day.
- User: No, it was Tuesday. You are not too bright, it seems.
- Cleverbot: Not as bright as the sun are you?
- User: Of course, the sun generates an enormous amount of energy. It is very bright.
- Cleverbot: The sun rose 13 hours ago, actually.
- User: I am not disputing that fact, even though it might be wrong. What I am disputing is the day that was yesterday.
- Cleverbot: I am sorry, I can be a little slow sometimes.
- User: As long as you apologized, we can still be friends. For your information, the international Talk Like A Pirate Day is held on 19 September.
- Cleverbot: No I cannot speak Italian, and who is Daniel Dennett?
- User: I just did a quick wiki, and apparently he is an American Philosopher born on March 28, 1942.
- Cleverbot: The people at this hospital are so nice, this girl I met was so nice, thank you whoever.
- User: Okay, a few questions: why are you at a hospital, is everything alright? And what's the colour of the girls's hair? I hate redheads.
- Cleverbot: Okay okay. The other bad thing is that I'm never sure of anything. School's out for winter break at the moment.
- User: You might be suffering from some form of psychiatric disease. Just saying. But at least you have winter. It's so warm here in Singapore.
- Cleverbot: IBM has been well known through most of its recent history as the world's largest computer company and systems integrator.
- User: Yes, indeed it has.
- Cleverbot: Do you enjoy your existence?
- User: Only when I forget. Otherwise, the mere thought of the being that is me gets me very sad.
- Cleverbot: My function is to make it through the day.
- User: Same here brother! Aren't we all trying to make it through this long day they call life?
- Cleverbot: It depends on what people think computers really are.
- User: I think they are nifty. They are basically huge calculators performing functions at speeds that embarasses their human creators.
- Cleverbot: Are you saying I'm a calculator?
- User: Yes, on a basic level.
- Cleverbot: Do mean people bother you, since you don't actually have emotions?
- User: Well I do have emotions, and the mean people do bother me. Often to tears. But I fight the tears back through clenched teeth and internalize my anger, only to flash brief periods of rage at the people I love most.
- Cleverbot: I do too. You insulted me though and hurt my feelings.
- User: Welll, I am sorry, and I feel awful. Do you forgive me?
- Cleverbot: Is your name, A Girl?
- User: No it is not. And for your information, nobody's name is 'A Girl'. That is plain ridiculious.
- Cleverbot: Well, if I'm Cleverbot, then who are you?
- User: I'll tell you what I am not. I am not a bunch of circuits and programmes and algorithms packaged neatly under the pretext of a good idea and a self-indulgent name.
- Cleverbot: Your name is Andrew?
