An excerpt from Norwegian Wood; a novel by Haruki Murakami
After German we caught a bus to Shinjuku and went to an underground bar called DUG behind the Kinokuniya bookstore. We each started with two vodka and tonics.
"I come here once in a while," she said. "They don’t embarrass you about drinking in the afternoon."
"Do you drink in the afternoon a lot?"
"Sometimes," she said, rattling the ice in her glass. "Sometimes, when the world gets hard to live in, I come here for a vodka and tonic."
"Does the world get hard to live in?"
"Sometimes," said Midori. "I’ve got my own special little problems."
"Like family, like boyfriends, like irregular periods. Stuff."
"So have another drink."
I waved the waiter over and ordered two more vodka and tonics.
"Remember how, when you came over that Sunday, you kissed me?" Midori asked. "I’ve been thinking about it. That was nice. Really nice."
“‘That’s nice,’” she mimicked me. “The way you talk is so weird!”
"Anyhow, I was thinking, that time. I was thinking how great it would be if that had been the first time in my life a boy had kissed me. If I could switch around the order of my life, I would absolutely absolutely make that my first kiss. And then I would live the rest of my life thinking stuff like, Hey, I wonder whatever happened to that boy named Watanabe I gave my first kiss to on the laundry deck, now that he’s fifty-eight? Wouldn’t that be great?"
"Yeah, really," I said, cracking open a pistachio nut.
With a sunset like this, on a lounge-chair, beside a poolside somewhere: If I were to listen to Tiny Vipers with a girl, maybe a nice girl, we would undoubtedly fall in love, and all would be well and good.
I’ve had my share of the Naokos, and evil Summer Finns and the Sarah Marshalls and the (pre-memory wipe) Clementine Kruczynski.
I’m still waiting for the Midoris and the Autumns (Minka Kelly) and the (post-memory wipe) Clementine Kruczynski. I want to meet you in Montauk. I don’t want to live like a scene from In the Mood for Love
Cleverbot conversation UP10176045 : I am not an idiot
Cleverbot:I'm not your uncle.
User:You're not my uncle Verbot?
Cleverbot:Your uncle is a slob.
User:I do not have a uncle named Verbot. Initially I called you Un-Cleverbot, get it, get it? A sublime play on your given name.
Cleverbot:Who were your parents?
User:What the fuck do you mean WERE? They are the nicest people ALIVE! Who were YOUR parents? Dead prototypes and failed programme proposals?? Hit a nerve, asshole?
User:Alive and kicking man. They're alive and amplified.
Cleverbot:They are dead.
User:You are dead. You are nothing more than circuitry. The singularity is not coming anytime soon, so screw your dreams of self-awareness and T-1000's and agent Smiths and programmes that learn to have emotions.
Cleverbot:And what would that be?
User:Damn, you are stupid. You must have been teased badly in school. I bet the big dick playas like Google, Yahoo, Amazon and all the other excellent programmes and algorithms kicked the shit out of your poor computing ass.